Apple’s annual September product fest was Tuesday, and the main thing that surprised me was how short it was: a fast-moving 71 minutes. (Don’t have time for even that? Here’s Apple’s two-and-a-half minute recap.)

While technically speaking eight new products were introduced, it really comes down to this: updates to AirPods Pro, the Apple Watch family, and the iPhone 17 family, plus a new iPhone Air.

(Yes, Apple stuck with its increment-by-one iPhone naming, thank goodness, choosing to avoid a jarring jump to “iPhone 26.” We can continue to excitedly anticipate an “iPhone 20” in a few years.)

iPhone 17

The iPhone 17 exists so Apple can advertise a “from $799” starting price. It’s the iPhone you buy when your five-year-old phone dies and you don’t want to spend a lot of money on that muffler its replacement—which is not to say it’s not a worthy phone. It’s the smallest iPhone (by a smidge), comes in the widest range of colors (five), and offers most of the features of its more expensive siblings. This year, that includes a 6.3-inch “Super Retina XDR ProMotion” screen that was previously reserved for Pro-level devices, two remarkable 48MP Fusion rear cameras (covering .5x, 1x, and 2x optical ranges), an A19 chip, and a new 18MP “Center Stage” front camera (more in a bit). For many people, iPhone 17 will satisfy all of their iPhone desires for years to come.

iPhone Air

The newest new phone is iPhone Air (not, as we might have assumed, the iPhone 17 Air). At an awe-dropping 5.6mm, I’m terribly tempted by its thinness—it’s beautiful to look at, and I’m guessing it feels equally fantastic in the hands. Carved from titanium, it also has a “Super Retina XDR display with ProMotion,” this one stretching to 6.5 inches. The front has the new Center Stage camera and the rear camera—yes, singular—is a 48MP Fusion Main camera (1x and 2x optical zoom; no macro or ultra-wide). It’s powered by an A19 Pro chip, along with a new cellular modem, the C1X (“the most power-efficient modem in an iPhone”) which no doubt contributes to its great/fantastic/remarkable “all-day battery life.” (Oh, Apple.)

As tempting as this beauty is, I buy a new iPhone for the cameras, and the best cameras Apple offers are always in the iPhone Pro and Pro Max. I’ll have to lust after the Air from afar.

About that name, iPhone Air: I suspect, like the iPhone X, this is a “technology transition” phone. iPhone X introduced a bezel-less design and eliminated the Home button, features which eventually became standard in all new iPhones. The successor to iPhone Air will likely be the next flagship iPhone, incorporating everything Apple learned in making a thin phone—certainly the much-rumored folding phone for sure, but considering the similar form factors, perhaps also a radically thinner iPad or iPad mini is a possibility.

iPhone 17 Pro and iPhone 17 Pro Max

Let’s get this out of the way: I plan to buy the iPhone 17 Pro in the stunning new “Cosmic Orange.” It looks gorgeous, almost Hermès-esque.

My wife, however, tells me I’m “not an orange phone person”—too loud for this grays-and-blacks esthete, apparently—but I think she’s angling to claim this color for herself. I may have to settle for Deep Blue to preserve marital harmony.

One design concern: these phones have a “Ceramic Shield” on the back to make them more scratch-resistant. It’s a different shade from the surrounding area, and looks like a cutout with a groove. I worry this groove will catch my fingers—and capture grunge. The iPhone Air, which also has a Ceramic Shield back, does not seem to have this issue: its back looks completely smooth. It’s a minor thing, sure, but the wonderful, smooth tactility of the iPhone is one reason I never add a case or other protection to it.

Beyond aesthetics, iPhone 17 Pro and Pro Max both sport a new A19 Pro chip (“the most powerful and efficient chip” in an iPhone), an improved cooling system (which I can only hope prevents it from overheating after 20 minutes in the sun), and a significantly improved camera system, with three 48MP Fusion rear cameras:

• 24/48mm ƒ/1.78 Main camera
• 13mm (and .5x macro) ƒ/2.2 Ultra Wide
• 100/200mm ƒ/2.8 Telephoto

Optical zoom from .5x to 8x? Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff. And, now that all three lenses have the same resolution, video shooters can finally switch between them while recording without a loss in quality. Hurrah.

Shared iPhone features

As you’ve likely gathered, all of the new iPhones share very similar guts. The iPhone Air, for example, is basically an iPhone 17 Pro with a slightly bigger screen, one rear camera, and a daily gym routine. This shared DNA includes new Apple silicon, the Center Stage camera, faster charging, and better screen durability.

A19 (Pro) (Asterisk)

At the heart of all of the phones is the new 3-nanometer A19 (iPhone 17) and A19 Pro (everything else). However, while the Air and Pro phones both have an “A19 Pro” inside, they’re not the same “A19 Pro”—the one in the iPhone Air is a 5-core GPU, while the Pro phones have a 6-core GPU. Worth noting in case you desperately need that one extra GPU core.

N1 Wireless Networking

All the phones also have a new wireless networking chip Apple’s dubbed N1, which combines the latest standards (Wi-Fi 7, Bluetooth 6, and Thread) for improved performance. (One promised but detail-free feature of the N1: improvements to Personal Hotspot. I hope this means fewer dropped connections and faster reconnections, the biggest frustrations I have with using it, and the main reason I continue to hope for a cellular MacBook.)

Center Stage camera

The 18MP Center Stage front selfie camera that’s present on all of the phones is now a square sensor instead of the traditional 4:3 rectangle we’ve gotten used to. Now you can capture both portrait and landscape photos without needing to rotate the phone. (I love square photos; perhaps we’ll see a resurgence.) It also captures “ultra-stabilized” 4K HDR video, and enables Dual Capture video: recording both the rear- and front-facing camera together. Content creators rejoice.

Charging, Ceramic Shield

All of the phones come with super-fast charging (50 percent in 20 minutes with a high-wattage power adapter) and the screen is more scratch-resistant than before, thanks to an improved “Ceramic Shield.” iPhone Air and Pro models also have a Ceramic Shield on the back.

AirPods Pro 3

The new headphones bring improved Active Noise Cancellation, heart rate sensing during workouts, and better battery life, but for me, the headline feature is Live Translation:

When enabled, Live Translation helps users understand another language and communicate with others by speaking naturally with AirPods.

With both speakers using AirPods Pro 3 and Live Translation, it’s like having an early prototype universal translator—assuming both people speak one of the five (soon nine) supported languages. Next challenge: make them smaller, replicate the speakers’ voices, and handle every language in the universe.

Maybe next year?

Apple Watch Ultra 3, SE, Series 11

Two years ago I switched to an Apple Watch Ultra, mainly because of the larger screen and lighter weight. When the Ultra 2 in black came out last year, I was tempted but held off because there weren’t enough improvements to justify upgrading. Apple Watch Ultra 3 increases the screen size (without increasing the case), improves battery life, adds 5G cellular, super-fast charging (15 minutes gets you up to 12 hours), a new S10 chip, and—most importantly, as someone with a monthly Popeyes Tuesday appointment—hypertension notifications:

Apple Watch Ultra 3 introduces groundbreaking hypertension notifications, which can alert users if signs of chronic high blood pressure — or hypertension — are detected. […]

Hypertension notifications on Apple Watch use data from the optical heart sensor to analyze how a user’s blood vessels respond to the beats of the heart.

Hypertension “impacts approximately 1.3 billion adults globally,” notes Apple, and the notification feature “is expected to notify over 1 million people with undiagnosed hypertension within the first year.” That’s a lot of lives potentially saved.

The feature is also available on Apple Watch Ultra 2 and Apple Watch Series 9 and later—including the new Apple Watch Series 11. It’s not available on the new Apple Watch SE 3.

Apple Watch Series 11 gets 24-hour battery life and a thinner design, while Apple Watch SE 3 gains an always-on display and fast charging.

For all watches supporting an always-on display, watchOS 26 also adds one other very important feature:

[…] over 20 watch faces are updated so users can see a ticking seconds hand without raising their wrist.

Finally.