It feels impossible to overstate the importance of this election. “The fate of our democracy hangs in the balance” seems somehow both overwrought and woefully insufficient. Yet that seems to be the stakes at play. We are choosing between Kamala Harris, who supports democracy; and Donald Trump, who has repeatedly expressed disdain for it.

An election between these two candidates—one, a prosecutor, Senator, and the sitting Vice President; the other a convicted criminal, adjudicated sexual assaulter, and twice-impeached former president—should be a cakewalk. That it’s a coin flip is terrifying, and for the next few days we’ll all be bundles of raw, vibrating nerves as we await the results.

While we’re unlikely to have a definitive winner tonight, I’m hoping we have a clear trend: that undecideds break for Harris, Democrats turn out in huge numbers for her, and Republicans, tired of the circus, vote for a president they can oppose without fear of retribution.

As I write this approaching 11 p.m. EST on election night, it’s not clear that America will repudiate Trump for a second time in two elections; in several places he’s doing better this year than he did last. It’s obviously still early, and there’s a lot of vote counting still to be done, but Trump’s continued (and growing) strength with a certain portion of the electorate is deeply concerning. The trends don’t seem to be trending toward Harris.

Keith Olbermann noted on a recent episode of The Countdown that

[…] there are people voting for Donald Trump today that were nine when he began his first campaign. They don’t know an America without a subculture of boastful stupidity and conspiracy.[…] They only know this shit.

Those 18 year olds have known only the divisiveness and anti-democratic rhetoric of Trump and MAGA Republicans. Many have grown up believing Trump is a “normal” politician, that his and MAGA policies are mainstream, and that democracy is about demonizing the other side.

That mindset may carry the day.

Like many of you, I’ll be glued to my screens tonight, in both anticipation and fear.

I started my evening feeling nervous but optimistic. Right now, as I write this, that optimism is starting to wane. The evening has shades of 2016, and that scares me beyond measure.